This is a question that I have been asking for years. For me, the answer is no. Since meeting my husband at 21, I’ve pondered on our future family, when we would have children, and how said children would fit within my career and family goals. I’m one of those women who desires to have it all. I want to have a successful career, while also having a successful marriage and raising awesome children. Society will tell you that is simply not possible however I believe it is. Although it’s important to have plans for your life, you should be flexible in your timeline.
I knew I could come up with excuses forever. I was still in college, I’d just graduated college, I was in law school, I’d just graduated law school, I’d just started my career, I was advancing in my career I was peaking in my career, etc. Next thing you know you’re 45 and childless. That’s an exaggeration but hopefully you get my point.
Although things may not happen in the order or time you would like, life should always come before work. I’m not advocating for getting pregnant just for the sake of it if your situation isn’t right but if your reason for not having a child is solely based on career obligations, you may want to rethink things. I worked extremely hard to become an attorney, working 2 jobs the majority of the time I was enrolled just to make ends meet. I love my career and it is something I truly enjoy however I never want to look back on my life and have regrets about family. Most people don’t look back on their life and say “I wish I’d worked more” but a lot of people reflect and wish they had made more time for their family.
My daughter was born almost one month after my one year anniversary of my job. This wasn’t planned but I was extremely lucky because that one year mark meant I qualified for my paid maternity leave. When I learned we were expecting, I was freaked out because it wasn’t part of my timeline. I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant until 30. I was supposed to have worked in my career for some time before thinking about a baby. Needless to say, she has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I’m so grateful that we were blessed with her when we were. The world didn’t end. I am still advancing in my career and recently took a new position at work. Now that I am 30 I am thinking about number 2 and I having similar thoughts as before. Is it the right time? Should I wait a little longer? Will I be able to handle two children and work? Will work/life balance still exist for me?
Is there ever a right time? For some people, the answer may be yes but for me, there is no perfect time. I look forward to having number 2 and living happily ever after. 🙂
Disclaimer: I am not an advocate of irresponsible behavior in the name of living life. My position is from the standpoint of married/committed couples in non-poverty situations.
PrimalMomLife 